zero tolerance 0101 Smart Knife
(Photo by Zero Tolerance)

While the 0101 Smart Knife sounds epic, we’d first like to note that this is an April Fool’s effort from our friends at Zero Tolerance Knives. If the billion-dollar price tag didn’t tip you off, maybe all the other bells and whistles would have.

Billed as a “digital wonder,” the Zero Tolerance 0101 sports a blade that is deployed via a voice activation system. “Just get a good grip on the knife and say, ‘ZT open,'” the product page reads. “Your ZT can ‘hear’ anywhere in the 20 to 90 decibel range, that is, from a whisper to a shout.”

Not content with voice control, the 0101 also boasts a handprint ID system to “keep other people’s fat, greedy, little paws off the handsome titanium handle of your ZT,” according to the product page. If a bad guy grabs the 0101, an alarm sounds and the thief scurries off.

Next up for the 0101 Smart Knife is cloaking technology. That’s right, the 0101 has the ability to become completely invisible with the single click of a button. “Be sure to check conceal carry laws in your area before using,” ZT jokes.

Can you imagine a knife with built-in holographic imaging and laser targeting to guarantee a clean, straight cut? Imagine no more, as the 0101 includes those smart features as well. It features on-board sensors that adjust the “angle of attack” so you make a perfect, precision cut every time.

Building on the “digital” theme they’ve established, Zero Tolerance also says the 0101 — which is Bluetooth enabled — includes a custom app that you can download to your phone so “you’ll always know what’s going on with your knife.” That includes warning you whenever it needs to be cleaned or sharpened. Going through TSA? You can also put the knife into Airplane Mode from your phone and the knife “won’t go in your pocket no matter what,” ZT says.

Wrapping it all up, the ZT 0101 also comes with a “Lifetime Purchase Alarm” that lets you know whenever it’s time to buy another Zero Tolerance knife. “Set it to go off as often as you wish,” ZT says.

We know it’s an April Fool’s joke, but can somebody develop the 0101 Smart Knife, or something like it, for real? Pretty please?

Up Next

Photo Gallery: What It’s Like for US Marines During Extreme Cold Weather Training

Exercise Forest Light, which took place in Japan, saw US Marines training in some...